Being a mom can just simply be painful and I am not talking about the labor pains or stepping on the errant Lego left on the floor. I am talking about the pains felt in that mysterious region in your chest. I hate to see the pain in my children's eyes when the pain is caused not by a physical injury but an emotional one. It is these moments that I realize watching them hurt cuts me into. My oldest has gone through his first broken heart experience with another girl. I have a crazy urge to scream at her and ask her why she would ever treat him in such a way not because I don't like her but because she has hurt him so deeply. There is nothing more painful that watching your son feel unloved by the person he gave his heart to.

I can remember not to long ago, okay it was at least two decades ago, that hurt that was accompanied by a break up with well we will call  him James to protect the innocent. I remember nights of tears and longing that felt as if it would swallow me whole. I remember the confusion of not understanding what I did wrong and feeling unloved.  I didn't realize at that time that the one God had chosen for me was still out there and I would meet him within the year. Of course, even with this wisdom under my belt I can't take the hurt away from my son. I can't even seem to convince him that there will be others who will love him and care for him in a way that he can't even imagine. So that leaves me the greatest tool I have left in my box since my vast wealth of wisdom is totally ignored, I will pray. I will pray for healing of his heart and that he doesn't hide it from others. I will pray for the woman who will love him so completely that he will not even remember that his heart was ever broken. I will pray for peace and understanding only a loving God can provide and I will even pray for the young lady who broke his heart in two. That she continue to grow and mature and one day find the man that will bring out the best in her.

Parenting Woes

Why is it that just when you think you have it all figured out the rug is pulled out from under you? No one ever said raising kids would be easy I know but I wish I had a better grasp on it to make the ride a bit smoother. My oldest son has always been a bright shining star. Straight A's, gives everything all of his heart, but this year as a sophomore he has fallen apart in the academic arena. I am not sure if it is the fact that he is simply doing to many extra activities or if he simply is rebelling. He has managed to bring his grades to failing or extremely close. It is so hard to look at this child who I see so much potential in and not want to scream at him but I know that all the lectures in the world will not make the difference. It will have to come from him. It is hard for a parent to stand on the sidelines and hope that her child will pick the right path. It isn't like we aren't cheering from the sidelines for him on to do the right thing. We have lectured, discussed and even shouted a bit but really he is a bright kid and this is his mess to get out of. I am sure other moms and dads have felt the same way as I feel. I want to swoop in and just fix it but I can't so instead I am going to encourage his good decisions and let him make a few mistakes now while the harm is minimal. But I won't say it will be easy. I still have an urge to fix it.

My running Life

I won't be running the White Rock Marathon as planned since I had an injury that too me out of running for almost three weeks but I will be cheering on those who are taking on this challenge this weekend. The weather should be wonderful for a run.

In the weeks that I haven't been running I have been swimming and doing core exercises. Hopefully this combination will make me a stronger runner. Thank you to those who have followed my running life. It isn't over. I plan to run the half marathon (13.2 miles) in February in Ft. Worth and maybe I will run a full marathon this spring.

I hope that my running has inspired others to get out and do something they thought was impossible.

Peace,
Donna